Want to engage your team? Try some praise for a job well done.
Nope. I am not talking about the feedback sandwich.
As a Performance Coach and former athlete, I notice how hardwired we are for directive feedback. “I want to know where I can improve, so that I can perform at my best,” my clients say. Eventually, if the focus is always on what needs to be done better, the clients start to take their strengths for granted. The result is that the bar is set higher and higher until it is completely out of reach, leading to burnout and increased stress.
The trouble really comes when our internal and external feedback loops do not have enough of a balance of both directive feedback and praise. Without praise, how do we know we are on the right track? There are tons of books on how to give feedback, take Radical Candor for one, but there really isn’t enough on how to give authentic praise for a job well done. In the Harvard Business Review article on Give Your Team More-Effective Positive Feedback, Christine Porath cites an IBM’s WorkTrends Survey’s findings on the impact of recognition.
“IBM’s WorkTrends survey of over 19,000 workers in 26 countries, across industries and thousands of organizations, revealed that the engagement level of employees who receive recognition is almost three times higher than the engagement level of those who do not. The same survey showed that employees who receive recognition are also far less likely to quit. Recognition has been shown to increase happiness at work in general and is tied to cultural and business results, such as job satisfaction and retention.”
The increase in motivation after praise can be explained by the Self-Determination Theory (shout out to University of Rochester) that highlights three innate and psychological needs that are important to motivation: competence, autonomy, and psychological relatedness. Praise can help someone understand that what they are doing matters, what they are doing is working well, and they are making great choices that are in line with the goals of the organization. If we are always striving for better, shouldn’t we understand what better means?
So, if recognition and praise is important, why is it so hard? First, it has be authentic (no smiley face emojis or thumbs on Slack) and second, there are some baseline pre-requisites for both the manager and employee for the praise and recognition to be effective.
Layer 1: Safety
Manager
In Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, the second layer of the basic needs after physiological is safety. We cannot forget as humans; we have a baseline need to feel safe before anything else is layered on top.
Have you as the manager created a safe space where mistakes can be made? Does the employee feel that they need to constantly earn your trust at every meeting, project, or outcome? You can help to enforce a sense of security through support and small day to day interactions. Support may even be in a form of curiosity or a question about how they are doing or if they need support.
Employee
I do believe that part of the equation of safety lies on the employee. Working on one’s own self-doubt and negative self-talk does help the one grow a better sense of self and inner safety. Sometimes the praise you may be seeking is your own.
Layer 2: Vulnerability
Manager
Dr. Brene Brown says, “Vulnerability is not weakness; it is our greatest measure of courage.”
There is a reason vulnerability and courage are interlinked because believe it or not, it takes greater courage to praise someone than it does to given them negative feedback. Why? If we praise someone, we risk exposing ourselves and what we want or need. “Hey, great job in that meeting, you really pushed us to think.” Might reveal that you do not have all the answers. (Gasp!)
Layer 3: Trust
Manager
When giving praise, you may have a concern that if you enforce the positive behavior with praise that you may not see it again. However, positive praise almost always increases positive output and creativity, as opposed to criticism or negative feedback (please refer to the Self-Determination Theory). We were all children that aimed to please and we are no different as adults. Whatever behavior is praised, we are more likely to double up on those efforts.
Employee
When receiving praise, it does take a lot of confidence and trust to accept that praise. Sometimes compliments can make people uncomfortable because it pushes someone to question their own inner negative beliefs, “Well, if Sally really believes I can do this presentation, maybe I was wrong to doubt my abilities.” The trust part is an important dynamic here because you need to trust that the feedback was given in earnest and accept that you have strengths that are being noticed by those that work with you.
Layer 4: Time
Manager
Time, the elusive commodity. I do not know anyone that says that they have enough time. We are all running around trying to beat the clock.
As a leader, you are less and less responsible for specific day to day tasks as you are for the outcome of your team. It is important to understand that it takes time and “soft skills” to develop your Dream Team. A thumbs up in a text or a shout out on Slack do not really cut it. But remember this, praise is like a long-term investment portfolio. Yes, it feels scary to invest all that time without seeing the immediate returns (not to mention the frequent ups and downs), but in the long term the praise with pay in dividends in engagement, fulfillment, and growth for both the employee and the company.
Although it does sound like you must put in an enormous amount of time, get clear about where the focus is: the KPIs and financial outcomes OR the people you are managing? Process versus outcome and if you stick to the process (managing your employees), the outcome (financial and business growth) will follow, so invest the time where you will see the greatest dividends.
Additionally, if you really want your feedback to stick and be authentic, you will need to take the time to get to know those that you work with. What do they care about, what are they working on, where do they want to go in their career? Then tailoring praise towards elements that serve and intersect their inner growth and the growth of the company. That is the sweet spot of praise and of leadership. Listen, connecting with someone just requires you to be a human being. A simple start is to just connect with a simple question, “Hey, how are you doing?” and the next step is to listen. Simple, but it can be the investment you have been waiting for.
A short story to finish up.
As an athlete in the 1990’s in the sport of fencing, it was customary for most coaches to resort to some level of yelling to get the result that they wanted. “Old school” coaching is probably what someone would say. There was never a discussion, the coach was King and whatever he was yelling was what we had to accomplish. The negativity and yelling absolutely produced short term results because it was reliant on the child’s willingness, need, and want to please. I became a World Champion at the age of 14, so the method must have been useful.
The problem came later as an adult, the negative no longer motivated me because my path to growth became more complex. The problem was, now that I was a high performer that had won several world championships and made an Olympic team, it was clear I had a level of mastery that couldn’t be ignored and the balance of feedback was too lopsided. What I needed was to start to refine and define what things were working and what needed to be adapted. I was stuck and ultimately, I was reliant on someone else to tell me what was right and what was wrong. With only directive feedback, my coach was the only arbiter of progress and I had never considered working on or listening to my internal feedback.
I am not saying everyone gets a medal, but when it comes to employees, if you want them to engage, to be responsible for their own growth, it helps to take the time to give insightful and balanced feedback that can help motivate and promote inner growth for long term success. Sure, give the honest feedback, but remember to balance the equation with praise for a job well done.